I have left!!
I have gone!!
I am soaring and it feels so free.
I feel like now....now....NOW.... I can find the person that God is wanting to build in me.
The person I am suppose to be.
I do feel free.
There is a smile on my face and a joy in my heart.
I haven't been this excited about my situation in a very long time.
So here I am walking this peaceful path.
Some might see it as something to be pitied.
But I don't see it at all like this.
It is actually a marvelous thing!
I really didn't think this would happen but I knew that the road I was on was difficult.
I know you are all wondering what this may be.
All I can say is that it revolves around my financial status.
Financially speaking life has been a bit difficult. But who's hasn't right?
Today I received a phone call of something that might help my situation out a bit.
How did I respond? I was ANGRY!
I really don't know.
I've been in discussion with the Lord and asking Him "Why am I so upset about this so called "blessing" appearing out of the blue.
I really thought that I was free to fly and to soar without anything or anybody interfering.
I feel like now I am back to a place I don't want to be.
The place I was wanting to disconnect from because truly I felt no connection.
But now...today....here it is making a way back.
Do I want to go back?
I really don't.
I have discussed this with the Lord and I am still yet to hear what His plan for this retreat means.
I was ready to go...go...go!
But now.... now this!
I can't explain exactly how and what I feel.
It's just....I don't want to go back.
I want to go forward....explore....find my next thing....my next path!
Can you sense the frustration in my spirit.
What is it Lord?
All I can do is lay it at His feet and live day by day.
That is all I can do.
I will continue to have my discussion with my Lord and I know He will answer in His own timing.
But to feel comforted right now, all I have to do is not worry and live it out day by day.
But....but....but.....my heart is longing for a new life for the next thing.
Could this be a hindrance or a distraction from the greater purpose?
Or is it truly God bringing me back.
We will see....