Friday, September 17, 2010

I have left...

I have left!!  

I have gone!!  

I am soaring and it feels so free.

I feel like I can find the person that God is wanting to build in me.  

The person I am suppose to be.

I do feel free.  

There is a smile on my face and a joy in my heart.

I haven't been this excited about my situation in a very long time.  

So here I am walking this peaceful path. 

Some might see it as something to be pitied.  

But I don't see it at all like this. 

It is actually a marvelous thing!  

I really didn't think this would happen but I knew that the road I was on was difficult.  

I know you are all wondering what this may be. 

All I can say is that it revolves around my financial status.

Financially speaking life has been a bit difficult.  But who's hasn't right?  

Today I received a phone call of something that might help my situation out a bit.  
How did I respond?  I was ANGRY!  
I really don't know. 

I've been in discussion with the Lord and asking Him "Why am I so upset about this so called "blessing" appearing out of the blue. 

I really thought that I was free to fly and to soar without anything or anybody interfering.  
I feel like now I am back to a place I don't want to be. 
The place I was wanting to disconnect from because truly I felt no connection. 

But it is making a way back. 
Do I want to go back?  
I really don't.  

I have discussed this with the Lord and I am still yet to hear what His plan for this retreat means. 
I was ready to go...go...go! 
But now....  now this!  
I can't explain exactly how and what I feel.
It's just....I don't want to go back. 
I want to go forward....explore....find my next next path!

  Can you sense the frustration in my spirit. 
What is it Lord?
  All I can do is lay it at His feet and live day by day.

That is all I can do.  

I will continue to have my discussion with my Lord and I know He will answer in His own timing.  
But to feel comforted right now, all I have to do is not worry and live it out day by day. heart is longing for a new life for the next thing.  
Could this be a hindrance or a distraction from the greater purpose? 
Or is it truly God bringing me back.  
We will see....

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Going Where God is Leading....

I am sitting at my computer not sure what to write. 

I feel something in my spirit....something stirring...almost bringing tears into my eyes...

I "feel" something in a distant land...

A land where there is no modern technology like we have in America

A land where the poor in America are "rich".

A land where children run barefeet. 

A land where it isn't rare to find a five year old walk up to you and ask for a coin.

A land where life is hard. 

Then....I look at my life. 

When I think it's hard.......I AM BLESSED!

What is wrong with my life....??

I don't need to complain about anything, but only be thankful for the abundance of my life. 

I don't have much compared to many I know....

At times I've had to wait for the Lord to bring food....

And He never fails to drop some of the abundance off at my door step.  

I pick it up and say....THANK YOU!

Then I have lived abundantly....where there was no need....

I found that during those times...I was thankful but yet I was still complaining..

I didn't consider the little blessings that the Lord was bringing or even the bigger blessings...

I was quick to look for what I didn't have. 

Boy....what selfishness I disgusting...

I'm so thankful for what I have gone through to see that life doesn't really matter unless the Grace of God is alive!

The Grace of God that is by what I live and breathe.  The Grace of God is so precious and so real. 

Then I feel the desire to walk a land that I have never live in a land that delights in the little things...

To live in a place in my heart where I delight in the have compassion on the poor....the downcast. 

Deep in my heart there is a cry....a stirring...

 I can't comprehend this feeling but there's something there....

I am still waiting to hear the next word to go...walk where God is leading.

I may have to leave my friends....I may have to leave what I have known....I may have to spread my wings

I might just have to........go!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

God Was There...

I was walking through something.

Not really understanding what was going on in the inner most part of my being. 

It WAS quiet.  I was still.

I was trying to find my hope and strength in the God that had spoken to me in times past. 

But this time....this time was different.  

Why?  Why was it so different?  

I would ask: Lord are you out there?  Do you even know what I am going through?  

I feel like I need an arm around me? 

Could you just deliver me from the midst of despair?  Or is this even despair?  

Then I would think of those all over the world going through far, far worse than what I was feeling. 

I came to a place in my own life where I was questioning even my own understanding and faith.

Questioning the one who had saved me from hell all those years ago.  

I would ask: Who are you?  

But even in my time of confusion and solitude....I knew He was there.  

Sitting right next to me.  Speaking things that I yet couldn't understand.   

The only picture that I could see was of me outside of a small church on top of a high mountain.

This mountain and this little church is the place I enter (in my thoughts) to speak to the Lord. 

But this time I was not allowed to come in 

Or maybe I was??  ...but the confusion was great. I then find that it was "me" who didn't want to hear. 

But as I sat outside this small church my spirit was still communing with the Father. 

My soul was sitting outside on the small stoop.  

Waiting....waiting....and waiting some more.  

I knew deep, deep inside that there was something the Father was speaking to my spirit.

Something that was not ready to be revealed at that moment.

Yes my soul was hurting from being separated.  

It wasn't that God didn't want me to hear the whispers in my spirit....

It was that He was wanting to do a work in my soul. 

To make me see, feel, understand what it feels to be someone who is suffering. 

What it feels to be a person who is not pursuing God at the moment.  

I saw myself at a waiting place.  Waiting to be picked up and be taught once again.  

The only words I could hear was "trust me"and know that it will be revealed soon enough.  

And soon enough it was.  

God in His marvelous, glorious, amazing way revealed Himself in my life in little ways.  

Daily something or someone would come to give me a treasure from Him. 

They were little gestures of Love in tangible ways. 

I knew it was from Him. 

The callousness I felt in my heart was taken off.  I could see clearly.  I could hear Him....

but now it was very, very different from what I used to know. 

It was now something more fresh, new, and lovely.  

The time that was bitter.....became sweet once again.  It was at this time I knew, He never left me. 

He was allowing this to take place in my heart.  

It wasn't Him who caused this pain.   But He used it to help teach me about His amazing Love and Grace. 
It wasn't anything I did.  

It was all about His timing and my readiness.  

He was there.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

My Faith tested....

Jesus Messiah
Name above names
Blessed redeemer
The Rescue for sinners
THe Ransom from heaven
Jesus Messiah
Lord of All!!

I wanted to share some lessons I have learned through a few trials I have walked through.  I am not going to reveal the details, but will share in a general sense. 

It is quite amazing when you think you have all the answers, you come to find that you know nothing....  You might think that all you have to do is pray enough....Tithe enough....Give all the right things and you'll be ok.  Or what if when you look at a friend or loved one going through a trial you are quick to give them all the answers and judge in your heart to say:

 "I know what I would do if that happened to me." 

I noticed I had become a puffed up Christian in my walk and revelations of God.  But thank God.....He...the Lord of All....showed me my disgusting heart through a lesson from faith. 

I had been given the privilege to walk through something with some close friends of mine.  This trial or challenging time they faced was centered around a terminally ill child.  I, whose understanding in healing and faith was freshly revealed and new, was very passionate to lay hands on the sick and see them recover.  I felt my faith was there and with a strong leading I heard the Lord say:

"Walk this with them....take them by the hand....and pray with them." 

So as I walked and prayed with them almost daily, I came to know their hearts in a more intimate way.  My heart began to ache to see them suffering so much and I wasn't seeing any immediate results in healing.  I began to think "Hey....I know I have enough faith for this so why can't I just lay hands and them recover?" , "I know God wants this little one healed."  so then assumed "Maybe the parents just don't have enough faith, that must be it?" 

As time went on the sick child was taken off of life support and passed into eternity to be with her Lord and Father.  My heart was immediately filled with sorrow/grief and also became angry withinn my heart thinking: "This child's parents had given up!!"

I said, "I don't understand!!"  "What happened!?" 

Again, I thought..."They had given up...they had thrown in the white flag because they didn't have enough faith!!  They knew they had grown tired and didn't want to fight anymore....BUT  they should have continued to fight and not given up!!"

In my heart I thought all of this and just moved on....

A few months later, in my own personal life, I was put through a test.  It wasn't the same sort of challenge of losing a child, but a challenge of it's own.  A challenge of loss as well. 

This trial challenged my faith in ways I didn't even realize.  It challenged what I believed, the very core of my foundation....FAITH.  During this time I struggled...I cried out to the Lord....I asked "WHY".....I felt alone.....I felt I could no longer fight.  I noticed I was weak....weak....weak....

This was hard....all in me wanted to give up....I wanted to take this situation off it's own "child support"...and I didn't think this situation could be saved.  Lord I surrender....I don't have the faith to walk this out....Others were telling me to do this or that but I knew I had to do this.  I felt judged....I felt like no one understood what I was going through....I felt like I was abandoned and forsaken....I felt like even those who I loved dearly were against me and my choices.  Job came to mind....

I then heard the Lord speak to me about my friends who had a child fighting for it's friends who did everything and anything possible to save their small friends who I knew were tired, weak, their very own foundation was friends who made a decision to let their child go....

He continued to say to me..."You have the grace.  You might not feel like you have enough faith but you have the grace.....I have given you the grace and I have given you a measure of faith.  This measure isn't revealed until you are in the actual battle.  No one knows how they will react or how they will respond.  Yes, it is a battle of faith, and trust.  BUT....Never think you are higher or better or know more than a brother or sister in Me.  You thought you had ALL the faith to fight THEIR battle.  But it wasn't your battle to fight.  It was their trial....their test....their experience."

Then He showed me how I had become puffed up in my revelation of faith and healing.  How I had become in a sense self righteous and judgemental. Ouch!!!

He continued to say...."You have no right to look upon a brother or sister in the faith and make a judgemental call of how they should have responded.  This was their trial...their challenge...their stuggle.  You have no idea what internal struggles they were faced with.  You have no idea how they came to Me....cried to they suffered during this dark hour.  This was their battle and no one knows what the battle is like because it is very PERSONAL.  Many think they know how they will respond during a fight....what they would do in a certain situation, but little do they know that most have no idea.  Thus Grace is the answer....and only by My grace can anyone do anything at all.  It is by My grace how they will respond.  It is by my grace how strong their faith is during a battle, trial, or struggle.

In your heart you thought you had faith....enough faith for whatever situation arises.  You think you will respond in such and such a way....But faith is a measure....and yes faith is given by grace.....Grace is where faith is birthed....Faith is is known only through becomes stronger by Grace alone....The grace I give.  This faith or even grace is not known UNTIL you have come to a place that it is needed.  Then come to realize that ONLY by Grace do you even have enough faith to walk out this trial.  This is why many have different results in life.

You can't judge or say that a brother or sister doesn't have a relationship with Me.  You can't say that any brother or sister is weaker.  You can't say any of it because each relationship is PERSONAL  and each one walks at a different pace and is at a different place on this road.  There is none better or worse.....I AM NOT A RESPECTOR of people, but I am a Good God...I am a lover of  souls....My heart does ache when I see my children struggle....My heart does ache to see those lose loved ones.  There is so much my children don't know or even twist a bit in ignorance.  Some things you will never know.  Continue to seek, pursue love, and love everyone.  Remembering that you are nothing without me.  Yet, you are something with me.  But with this "SOMETHING" always remembering you are no greater than anyone else.  I love everyone!  And for this WORLD....I died!!"

These are some of the words the Lord spoke to my heart to teach me about faith and a relationship with Him.  I have been brought to my knees and my eyes have been open to being more compassionate and understanding when those walk through trials.  Judgement in my heart has fled.  I was brought to my knees in humility when I realized that I am nothing! When I thought that I had all the answers....I was brought to nought to say truly "You are God and I am no one".   And if I am even able to overcome...It is ONLY by YOUR Grace....YOUR love and YOUR Mercy!


Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Only By the Grace of God Am I something

Do you ever find yourself wondering why some things come easier to some and not to others?
Do you ever find yourself looking at someone in church and wondering:

"Why are they falling asleep while the pastor is preaching"
"Why are they not as excited about this revelation than I am"
"These people are not praying enough"
"They are slipping down"

Did you think maybe they are in a different season of life?
At a different point on this road of Salvation?

I have asked these same questions before...

As I walk with the Lord and He leads me
I find that I am nothing
without His amazing Grace

I am nothing without His peace
I am nothing without His love

I am brought to my knees when I realize that I am nothing....
But then EVERYTHING with Him...

Those brothers and sisters in Christ
who might be walking at a different pace
facing different challenges,
are all on the very same road....

The road of Grace

Some days I feel like every revelation in God's word is illuminated
and then
There are many days when I don't even get what I just read

Why is this....?
Only by His grace.

There is nothing on earth that we gain or can do on our own
Because just as Jesus said...

John 15:15

“I am the vine, you are the branches.

He who abides in Me,

and I in him,

bears much fruit;

for without Me you can do nothing.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

On a search...

There are times walking with God can be predictable
when things in life are going well
there are no serious cares
or serious decisions to make
Work is good
Home life is great
church activity can't be better
What happens when it all seems to be unpredictable
You've done everything you know how to do
the natural and supernatural
but still.....a dead end
There are days when you don't even feel like moving
you feel numb inside
Like a grace has lifted....
Could God be doing something deep in your heart
to show you His next move?
You also feel a drawing away from your normal life routine
Even at church....
things just don't seem the same
You do feel like something deep is taking place
If you share with others
some might say
"get in the Word"
"pray more"
"is there sin in your life?"
"Don't be deceived"
" doesn't sound like it's God"
You know you've been seeking Him and asking Him to reveal
so what is going on?
There isn't any "great" sin you've found
(everyone sins daily)
This pulling away is so heavy
so great
But you know your are not being pulled from the Father
because He is here...
He is there....
He is in you....
So what is it?
Moses ran away from the "world" he know
Yes he did run in sin
but in the midst of this running...
He encountered the LIVING GOD!
So wherever you go...
even if you don't completely understand what you are feeling deep inside
God knows...
He knows exactly what you are going through
He knows exactly what you are feeling
He knows exactly where you are going
Or where He is taking you
Lean not on your own understanding
But on His alone.
Continue to seek to know where He is leading
and rest in this...

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Stripped of Religion

Matthew 23:25-28

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!
For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish,
but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence.
Blind Pharisee, first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also.
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!
For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.
Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

I recently had a debate with a very religious, "holier than thou" individual. This individual was very irate by the fact I would enjoy a glass of wine with a few friends, saying it was ungodly and very sinful to live such a lifestyle. This person proceeded to inform me that the bible was very "clear" about wine and drinking.

There are many doctrines regarding drinking wine, if it's lawful or unlawful or if Jesus even drank wine. As our "debate" continued, I reminded this "theologian" that Jesus turned water into wine and the guest at the party were so amazed by how wonderful this wine tasted saying He had saved the best for the latter part of the celebration. The individual I was debating rose with a bitter heart and clearly said "It so obvious YOU don't even understand the bible and it wasn't wine but grape juice!!"

Now come ridiculous can you be to believe this nonsense. The middle eastern culture is quite aware of what "good wine" is. They have been drinking it for many many years...

The problem I had with this individual was how proud they came with their words, and their rules, laws, doctrines saying I had "no clue" about the bible and what sort of Christian was I. This is an example of being filled with "religious" doctrine. A doctrine which makes them miserable.

I clearly saw something I never want to become...a hateful religious person. I never want to constantly be looking at the outward appearance to prove to myself I am "living righteous".

These religious spirits are out there doing damage to the Kingdom of God. They aren't bringing people to freedom in a relationship with the Lord but to a bondage they never intended to sign up for or will never desire to sign up for.

So how can we in this world become people of truth and not judgment. Lets leave the judgments to the Father Himself.

On a side note:... I don't condone a drunkard lifestyle. I believe drinking a glass of wine on occasion or with communion is perfectly fine. Or maybe you like a glass of wine daily with dinner.....that's between you and the Lord. I am a believer that the Lord is big enough to speak to our own hearts regarding sin. We don't need those religious folk breathing down our wine glasses telling us that it is sin. Let the Lord alone convict! The more we seek, knock, find, and desire the Word then we will know right from wrong.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Love sets free...the Law kills

Before becoming a Christian I was BAD. I partied, cussed, slept around, did my share of drugs, what didn't I do? I didn't know right from wrong. I thought my wrong was ok and I didn't need anyone to tell me what to do! Especially the BIBLE.

But once the Lord got a hold of my spirit and changed me forever, I made a huge transformation. I was now a born again religious person. A person who did good in front of others and tried my best to follow the laws of the Lord. If I saw people around me not living right, my heart would become haughty and puffed up with "self righteousness" and say to myself "Boy, oh boy, they need the Lord". I would think my hardest on how to approach them and "bring the gospel" and when I failed or they didn't drop to their knees in repentance, I quickly thought "poor sinners, they just don't know what they are missing".

I would do the same with brothers and sisters in Christ: I would look "down" on them thinking they must have a very shallow relationship with the Lord because they were still saying a few cuss words or drinking wine, beer, or what have you. Didn't they understand that this is sin? Don't they read the bible?

Lately, the Lord Himself has been showing my disgusting heart of judgement. I am proud. I am not humble and I am just the same as those "sinners". I have no right to look down on anyone. I am not in their hearts or minds and I am not the Lord. But...but...but....

Yes, many buts. I need to keep my mouth closed about others around me. We, as Christians first need to walk in love and forgiveness and when we walk in this, the Lord will convict those around beginning in our own hearts. Our own judgmental words can push someone away from the Lord rather than bring them closer....this isn't what God desires.

Love sets free, but the Law kills.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Stress and Anger....stop and reflect

Why be so stressed?

Why be so angry?

Live your life like you have never lived before

The Lord has given you




Take the time

to enjoy this

life you



in the little


that pass

you by...

Look in the mirror

and observe

the face

that reflects

a beauty

so amazing

you can't contain

you say


but stop

and really


at this face


back at you

what is there

to be excited about

this face

is the face the Father

loves so....

A face that



Look at your hands

your dog

your flowers

your child

your spouse

look at them.....

What do you see?

Do you see something





enjoy every


and be thankful

for this life you have been given


Sunday, May 30, 2010

For the Oppressed, Depressed, Hopeless

"Because of the oppression of the weak and the groaning of the needy, I will now arise," says the LORD.
"I will protect them from those who malign them."
Psalm 12:5

In the secret place

He waits
for those who hunger and thirst

He waits
for those
who are needy
Who are oppressed

Come to Him you who are

Come and be filled by the
Most High

Come sit at His
banqueting table
and delight in His

He will wash you white as snow

When He sees you
His face shines

HE sees
HIS beloved SON
in you

He loves






delights in you who comes
to Him
even with your flaws

Even if you have been
a "christian"
all your days

He will repair you
WE are perfected in His image
His image alone

Don't run away
from the one
who mends
and quiets your soul

Who will



you his child

He says:

Why are you so d0wncast oh my soul...
my child?

Let me repair and heal
your wounds

or even church




I will never push you away

reject you

hurt you

destroy you

I am your




your beginning
your end

Delight in ME!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Love of Money

Let me begin by sharing that I am not one to
any prosperity teacher who is out there spreading the Gospel.

Those who desire to judge a man/woman who is preaching the Gospel and say he/she is
a false teacher or someone to mislead people,
best be careful that you are not judged
by the Judge Himself!

Many are CALLED
to minister the Gospel in different ways,
especially in this generation of advanced technology
and the growing need for the
to be spread over the EARTH.

To those ministers who are able to
spend money on airplanes or
use others tools to spread the

I am with them!

In saying all of this
I warn my brothers and sisters

1 Timothy 6:10
For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

In searching out scriptures and meditating on prosperity,
I find more and more Christians
Some of these Christians
are the same ones who like to judge prosperity teachers.
Quite sad but true.

I ask the question...
Is this coveting?
Is this the LOVE of money?
Are they following this job or profession because of the LOVE of money?
Am I desiring money more than the will of God in my own life?

Thus I find more and more good Christians
walking by sight and not by faith.
They say they are wanting to do the will of the Father,
but then I notice them seeking after
the job or the "nice living"

They might think they are doing the Father's will
but many are being led astray by the
love of money.

The will of God is to PROSPER His people.
He wants to prosper those who will walk by faith and not by sight.
His main purpose is for His Gospel to be spread to all nations of the world
Thus He delights to give good gifts to His children....

But what if those children are led by the desire for high paying jobs and the money rather than take a step of faith and watch the faithfulness of God truly bless their socks off?

Many might miss the awesome glory and prosperity the Lord will bring them.
I am not talking about those who have the Word of the Lord to become
a doctor, lawyer, Athlete, Singer/actor, Business Owner, etc ....

Let me give an example
What if God called a high paid Christian Lawyer to move to a town which was known for
lower income?
What would his response be.....
"No way, this can't be God! God is ONLY about increase"
Would he say "Yes, Lord lead me!!"

If he chose the latter and allowed the Lord to lead him in all paths, he would be walking by Faith and not doubting.
He would be willing and obedient and trust God in every area of this move.
He would believe and be excited that God has an awesome plan for the small town, knowing the LORD must have amazing things in store for him. But why else would God want him to move there? God is always about the best, when it involves increasing His kingdom. It is always good to expect the best, even when it "looks" dead and bleak.

Isaiah 1:19
If you are willing and obedient, You shall eat the good of the land;

Yes, it would be a trust like never before,
But this lawyer knows
his source is
the LORD God
not his degree or knowledge.

What if this same Lawyer decided not to believe and trust God?
Listing his excuses as:
Lower pay
He'll have to sell his prosperous law firm, and leave behind the town and church he loves
With the thought in mind of....
"How could God have me do this?"

Sounds like the Rich, young ruler, right?
The rich, young ruler LOVED his things and money more than following the

You see if this lawyer follows the money rather than the Lord, he would have never known how much more prosperous God would have made him.
He would have never known the ministry opportunities
or the doors the Lord was going to open
just for this lawyer.

God is Faithful to ALL His Children
and especially to His word
and if God says....

Always to be LED by the Lord and His Spirit
not by the love of money!

Because just as 1 Timothy says:
"some have erred from the FAITH and pierced themselves with many sorrows"

The will of God and His leading WILL always lead to the
even if during that travel time the land looks

Only trust

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Don't Worship and Follow an Image

Do you Worship the Almighty God
or do we worship a lifestyle?

Sometimes we can get stuck in the rut of life
living out our daily routines
but for what??

We are
waking up
driving to work
working long hours
coming home
clicking on the television
prepare for the next day
and then waiting for Friday to come around
then maybe cleaning up and doing some chores on Saturdays
Sunday comes around pay our dues to our congregation
listen to a heart warming message of God's love
Sunday brunch
do some more relaxing
and prepare for the next work week
to do it

This my friends is the
of the
and has leaked into the

So my question lies....
are we as the people of God living a life
to worship this image of routine and the American Culture or
to serve the LORD?

Yeah, I know we have to live and work
but where is our heart?

I am not against having the
nice house
nice cars
nice clothes
or nice education for our children
I believe the Father likes to give
good gifts.
These gifts are not for us to seek
or pursue
or to serve day in and day out

I personally am growing nauseated with the culture and image
this society and American Church is offering.

And for all you
prosperity teacher haters.....
I am not talking about the prosperity message
Those in little baptist churches with meager tithes
also can fall into the same rut of living a life for NOTHING

Small church and big church alike
are falling into the same old rut of following and seeking
the image

Actually those who are the prosperity teachers are helping those caught in a rat hole
to dream bigger and see beyond their hopeless lives
this is a good thing's just that some of the "poor" they are speaking to
are desiring the prosperity of God more than
the LORD Himself.

Where is the Body of Christ
Is life more than just a routine....

This my friends YOU WILL find if you surrender your image, your desires, and even your culture.
lay it down and take a risk and do what God is leading you to do!!!

Is it selling everything you have and moving overseas?
Is it quitting your corporate job you've had for years and doing the things the Father has placed deep in your hearts.

for when things look right
when your kids are grown
when you retire
when you have more money

When God is calling He WILL make a way!

Just as the LORD told Elijah to go to the Brook Cherith
and commanded the ravens to feed Elijah in that place
Elijah had to pick up and go to that very place
to receive the providence of the LORD

1 Kings 17:3-5 3 “Get away from here and turn eastward, and hide by the Brook Cherith, which flows into the Jordan. 4 And it will be that you shall drink from the brook, and I have commanded the ravens to feed you there.” 5 So he went and did according to the word of the LORD, for he went and stayed by the Brook Cherith, which flows into the Jordan.


I Pray the Lord will fill you with His passion and His ways
follow His leading
follow His call
and to take your wings and fly.
The Lord is your hope and salvation and will show you and take you to
the sweet waters and feed you with the bread of heaven
but also He will be there to provide you with everything you need
because you LOVE HIM
and desire to serve HIM
and not the image of this world.

Bless you all!!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Walk By Faith!!

For we walk by faith, not by sight.

Sometimes a Faith walk can be so very trying.
Standing in Faith is even harder.

Paul the Apostle said in
1 Corinthians 6:13
Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong.

When the storms come
and they will come to all men...
whether rich, poor, good or evil
the storms of life come.

Depending on the storm
where is your faith?

Is it a light sun shower?
Is it a nice thunderstorm that lasts about 20 minutes?
Is it a flash flood, blizzard,
hurricane or Severe storm with tornadoes.

The storm comes
BUT will you be able to stand?

Unless you have truly experienced a severe storm in your life
you don't truly know what it feels like.

Every ounce of you is wondering

but I know you are

When I see some Christians living a life without serious stresses
I often wonder....are they walking by faith.

What is walking by faith?

I find some Christians can say they are
"walking by faith"
but are they?

Is it that maybe some save themselves before the Lord saves them personally?
Or does it depend on when and how the storm hits?

I have found myself in this dilemma:
Boy, do I want to save my self
Boy, do I want to call it quits
Boy do I want a detour
Boy, this road is quite bumpy and filled with pot holes

Sometimes I wonder:
Will I EVER get to the highway where the road is paved smoother and I can drive at a quicker speed.

The children of Israel complained and their hearts were filled with unbelief
The Lord had promised them the good of the Land....
But because of unbelief they went astray and quit

We can read, think and say....

hmmmm... those Israelites....why didn't they JUST believe God and stay on course.
What is wrong with them (rolling eyes in judgment)....

Be careful what comes forth from your mouth
because until we are in the midst of the
we won't know how we would respond to the test

It might be an easy quiz
a more in depth and lengthy test like an
either way....God lets us use the book
are we prepared?

SO then PRAY:
That you will be able to stand and believe God for His Word
that if a storm you never experienced comes to hit your town(life), you will know how to deal with it and trust God for His word
that you don't look at another brother or sister in judgment thinking you are stronger than they
that you will be able to stand the wiles of the enemy
Ephesians 6:11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

If we drop out of the race
throw in the towel
call it quits
surrender to the enemy's wiles
or even save our selves by worldly solutions

Understand this:
God never failed you
It wasn't HIS will for you to quit fighting and praying
It wasn't His plan for your failure
It was your own CHOICE,
to throw in the towel or raise the white flag

Yes, He loves you and forgives you and always gives you another chance
But all in all
He is
and wants you to wait
for His promises!!

And He WILL deliver...



Sunday, April 25, 2010

Standing Fast for He is faithful!

There is a word the Lord gives

a personal word

that is only that........


No one may understand why He is asking me to do this

This road is lonley

it seems like it is so lonely....

Is there anyone there to encourage me

to stand fast and stay on this road....

It seems like many say

"Use Wisdom"

"Are you sure you heard right"

"If it's the word of the Lord why are you not seeing the fruit?"

So many temptations to reason with the Lord as to why I want to hold up the white flag of


But this road is so lonely and it sure looks like YOU Lord are not with me!

But I know YOU are because I know You are faithful!

I might not understand why the fruit isn't there yet but I know


One thing Lord I have noticed on this journey

There are not many who truly trust You and your words

It seems like they want to "help you" out a bit.

Probably because of fears......

Those fears of destruction or no deliverance.

Those fears are there, but then in the quiet of my room

I hear your voice

Your voice saying:






A smile comes upon my face knowing I can truly trust in you Lord.

It doesn't matter if my best friend thinks I am crazy
I know I heard you Lord..... I heard the WORD OF THE LORD

deep in my heart

deep in the quiet of my room

Your word is truth and you will show your self faithful

I know you are for me and not against me and know you are my


my source for everything in this life!!!
And I will remain on this road
even if it feels lonely

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


Do you really trust in God?

What makes you doubt sometimes?

Is it the uncertainty of the battle at hand?

Is it that you just might not trust God to come through for you?

So then are you saying He isn't faithful?

But wait the bible speaks of His faithfulness and Love!


Jesus came proving God's love and faithfulness so why do you act in

What ARE you afraid of? I think you are more afraid that He might not come to deliver your circumstance, then your are sure He will.

So why are many Christians afraid of the "worst case scenrios" in their battles?

Be it losing a home
losing their lives.

I truly think that fears hold people back from truly trusting and receiving the Lord's best and His

Some Christians may shrink back and because of fears, are blinded by the reality of their situation and then are not truly


People can become so paralyzed by their fear that they believe the worst case will happen.

So then what is the fruit of their lives then......

They do LOSE

then what do they say.....?

"God's in control.....It was His plan for such and such thing to happen"
But then was it really His plan for this destruction or loss to happen in their life?
Of course it is easier to say that God is in we won't take any responsibility for our actions or lack of. I wouldn't want my child to say "My parent is in control" when they failed the test after not studying. Isn't God our Father? Why would we see God as different.
So then are you saying .....He wasn't faithful? He never told us to trust Him and study for the test?

I thought the word says

so can you please help me see what it is then....

You see how the enemy can bring so much doubt in Christians lives through fear
and when there is fear..... there is no faith.

Which leads me to say that in many occasions in the bible
when people approached Jesus with fear or He sensed fear in their hearts he said

Luke 8:49-50
49While he yet spake, there cometh one from the ruler of the synagogue's house, saying to him, Thy daughter is dead; trouble not the Master.

50But when Jesus heard it, he answered him, saying, Fear not: believe only, and she shall be made whole.

In this case Jairus's daughter had just died and I'm sure fear now came upon his heart that he wasn't quick enough to get Jesus to her. Before Jairus could even speak a word of fear Jesus stopped him with

Why would Jesus speak these words first?
Fear must do something to our faith, trust, and seeing the works of God manifested.

I believe that when we fear, we are then in doubt of God's faithfulness and Love.

Even good Christians pray AFRAID. Why?
Maybe because they really don't trust and know who they serve. They might know about Him, but not KNOW HIM.
Don't fear....ONLY BELIEVE....and KNOW who you LOVE and SERVE!